Scholar

"I thought we were working on the spaceship today."
"Later. Think they have anything by Danielle Steele?"
"Oh boy."

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

Unicycle

"I don't have knees."
"Looks to me like gravity bit you in the butt."
"I don't have a butt either."
"Well NOW you don't."

#alienproblems

Gigantic fingers, tiny nostrils.

In The Doghouse

"I could help you with that tractor beam."
"Forget it. I saw you sitting on my water dish and now you're dead to me."

"Um...Do you mind?"

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Alien In An Apron

‎"They have conceded my superiority. Cooking and cleaning are positions of honor on Earth."
"Dude. You got played."

Alien Child Safety

"Aren't you too small to sit up front, with the air bag?"
"I AM an airbag."
"Good point."

What? If he can drive a spaceship, he can handle an Odyssey.

Jukebox Hero

He's got stars in his eyes.

"Why so sad?"

‎"I just saw 'Alien Autopsy' in their Netflix queue. I feel somewhat deflated."

Mom? Dad? I TOLD YOU SO.

More Catitude

‎"Not to brag, but I'm fluent in Esperanto."

Catitude

‎"Greetings. I believe we are from the same home planet."
"Took you long enough to get here, flunky."

‎"Lay a finger on the meatballs and you'll meet the business end of my laser gun."

‎"Open. Open. Open."